About a boy

Yes, I'll be cliche. God, I feel so lame getting upset about this. Am I in high school or something? Sure feels like it, and yet I'm a grown ass woman. I'm old enough to know that I should be upfront, and yet here I lay, keeping my mouth shut. Why? Because I'm so damn insecure. He's even giving me signs of being interested, clear signs. But for every real sign he's given that he's interested there's an imaginary sign that he's not. I know I'm being crazy, but I can't help myself. The problem is that this guy is exactly what I've been asking for, not necessarily in the physical sense but his personality. He's passionate, independent, not even remotely clingy, he always has a positive attitude, sometimes he laughs so hard he actually doubles over or falls to the floor. I love that. The funny thing is that I want to feel this way, I want to pine and wish because there's an optimism to it. I feel hope, but I also feel so insecure and unsure of myself that it's driving me mad. I know there's no rush, and I'm fine waiting. I just don't want someone else to come along and scoop up this great guy away from me because she's secure in herself and I'm a lame duck just floating along hoping he doesn't lose interest.